What Is Men's Work? | The Men's Work Directory

Where the term comes from

The phrase became common in the late 1980s when poet Robert Bly started gathering men to read poetry, beat drums, and talk about their fathers. His 1990 book Iron John, a retelling of a Brothers Grimm fairy tale, became an unexpected bestseller and launched what is now called the mythopoetic men's movement. Bly's argument: modern men had been cut off from something essential. The transition from boyhood to manhood, once held by tribal initiation rituals, had long since been abandoned. Without it, men remained psychologically young regardless of age or achievement.

Michael Meade extended this in Men and the Water of Life (1993), grounding male initiation in world mythology and arguing that uninitiated men carry a restlessness that no amount of accomplishment can resolve. At the same time, Jungian analysts Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette published King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — a framework of four masculine archetypes that has since become the working language of most men's programs worldwide. The book describes mature masculinity as having access to all four capacities: to provide and lead (King), to act with discipline and courage (Warrior), to think and create (Magician), and to love and be present (Lover). Most men, they argued, only access the immature, shadow versions of these.

What it looks like now

Men's groups and circles are the oldest and most common form. Regular gatherings, usually facilitated, where honesty is the norm and mutual accountability replaces performance. They vary from informal peer groups to structured weekly programs.

Coaching and mentorship works one-on-one or in small cohorts, usually focused on a specific pattern: purpose, relationships, emotional intelligence, leadership. Connor Beaton's Men's Work (2022), the manual behind his ManTalks platform, describes this work plainly as 'facing your darkness, ending self-sabotage, and finding freedom.'

Somatic and trauma work recognizes that the wounds men carry live in the body, not just the mind. Peter Levine's research into Somatic Experiencing and Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score form the scientific foundation here. Many practitioners working with men are trained in body-based approaches precisely because talk alone often doesn't reach what needs to change.

Rites of passage and wilderness programs address what Bly, Meade, and Richard Rohr all identified as the central wound: the absence of genuine male initiation. Bill Plotkin's Animas Valley Institute runs multi-day wilderness immersions. Illuman, co-founded by Richard Rohr, offers rites of passage grounded in contemplative spirituality. The structure across these programs is consistent: separation from ordinary life, a threshold experience, return with a changed identity.

Depth psychology and shadow work draws on Carl Jung's concept of the shadow — the parts of the psyche men have rejected, hidden, or never acknowledged. James Hollis, in Under Saturn's Shadow, describes how men build elaborate psychological structures to avoid the pain at the center of their lives. Shadow work is the practice of moving toward that center rather than away from it.

Who actually does this work

The men who show up for this work are not a niche demographic. Executives in crisis, fathers trying to break a cycle, veterans who cannot settle back into civilian life, men in their twenties who grew up without a present father, men in their sixties who just retired and don't know who they are without the job. The common thread is not a specific type of suffering. It's the sense that something is missing or wrong and the willingness to look honestly at what that is.

Sam Keen wrote in Fire in the Belly that 'a man's journey begins when he finally gives up trying to be the man he was supposed to be.' That sentence from 1991 still describes what most men are working with when they start.

Common Questions

Is men's work therapy?

Not exactly. Some men's work practitioners are licensed therapists; most are not. Therapy is a clinical service regulated by licensing boards, trained to diagnose and treat mental health conditions. Men's work coaching is not therapy and doesn't claim to be. What they share is a willingness to go beneath the surface. If you're in crisis or managing a clinical condition, licensed therapy is the right starting point.

Do I need something to be wrong with me to do men's work?

No. The framing of 'something wrong' is part of what men's work is trying to move past. Most men who do this work are functional — they have jobs, relationships, responsibilities. What they are coming for is the difference between functional and fully alive.

Is men's work spiritual or religious?

Some programs are explicitly spiritual. Illuman is grounded in contemplative Christianity. Bill Plotkin's work draws on indigenous ceremony and nature. David Deida's teaching has a strong tantric thread. But there are secular approaches — Connor Beaton, Robert Glover, Terry Real — that are psychological without a spiritual frame. You don't need a spiritual framework to do this work.

How do I find men's work?

The Men's Work Directory is a curated list of coaches, programs, and retreats working in this field. You can browse by what you're dealing with or read individual profiles to find the right fit.