The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen

Why this matters in men's work

The parable of the prodigal son is the clearest account in Western literature of what the father wound looks like in its healing. The younger son departs, wastes himself, comes to himself in the far country, and returns not knowing whether he will be received. The father runs to meet him. The elder son — who has stayed, who has been obedient, who has never left — cannot enter the feast.

Men in the men's work tradition find the elder son's position as recognizable as the younger son's: the man who has done everything correctly, who has worked hard, who has not caused problems — who is standing outside the celebration furious that the one who squandered everything is being honored. The elder son's wound is the wound of men who have performed loyalty and competence and who feel neither seen nor celebrated for it.

Nouwen's argument is that both sons are in need of the father's embrace — not the approval of the father's approval, but the unconditional welcome that the father offers regardless of what either son has done or not done. The movement toward becoming the father rather than remaining in either son's position is the arc of masculine maturation.

Common Questions

Is this book specifically Catholic or broadly applicable?

Nouwen was a Catholic priest and his language is Christian. But the psychological and human content of his meditation is broadly applicable — men from many spiritual traditions and from no religious background find the elder son and younger son dynamics immediately recognizable in their own experience.