The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen

Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming (1992) grew from a long encounter with Rembrandt's late painting of the parable's conclusion — the father's embrace of the returning son. The book is a meditation on what Nouwen describes as the three positions in the parable — the younger son who has wasted everything, the elder son who has done everything right and resents the welcome, and the father who holds both — and how each man contains all three.

Why this matters in men's work

The parable of the prodigal son is the clearest account in Western literature of what the father wound looks like in its healing. The younger son departs, wastes himself, comes to himself in the far country, and returns not knowing whether he will be received. The father runs to meet him. The elder son — who has stayed, who has been obedient, who has never left — cannot enter the feast.

Men in the men's work tradition find the elder son's position as recognizable as the younger son's: the man who has done everything correctly, who has worked hard, who has not caused problems — who is standing outside the celebration furious that the one who squandered everything is being honored. The elder son's wound is the wound of men who have performed loyalty and competence and who feel neither seen nor celebrated for it.

Nouwen's argument is that both sons are in need of the father's embrace — not the approval of the father's approval, but the unconditional welcome that the father offers regardless of what either son has done or not done. The movement toward becoming the father rather than remaining in either son's position is the arc of masculine maturation.

Common Questions

Is this book specifically Catholic or broadly applicable?

Nouwen was a Catholic priest and his language is Christian. But the psychological and human content of his meditation is broadly applicable — men from many spiritual traditions and from no religious background find the elder son and younger son dynamics immediately recognizable in their own experience.

Books on This Topic

Adam's Return(2004)

The five promises of male initiation — what every man needs to undergo in order to become a fully mature human being.

Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life(2011)

Rohr's framework for the two stages of adult life. The second half is about soul, not achievement. Profound for men questioning the success they've built.

Under Saturn's Shadow(1994)

The wounding and healing of men — a Jungian exploration of the psychological forces that shape male behavior and how men might begin to heal.

Care of the Soul(1992)

A guide to cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life — the book that brought Jungian depth psychology into mainstream culture.

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