Men and Suicide — What Helps | The Men's Work Directory

Why men die by suicide at higher rates

The disparity is not explained by higher rates of depression in men — women have higher rates of diagnosed depression and more suicide attempts. The explanation is multi-factorial: men use more lethal means, men are less likely to have disclosed suicidal ideation before an attempt, and men are more likely to attempt suicide without the preceding periods of help-seeking that might provide intervention opportunities.

The concealment is central. Male socialization's equation of emotional distress with weakness means that suicidal men are often invisible until they act. They are not coming to therapists, emergency rooms, or crisis lines at the rates that women with comparable distress are. The crisis happens in silence.

Terry Real's covert depression framework is directly relevant: the men who die by suicide are often not the men who appear most distressed. They are men who appear to be managing, whose internal state is invisible to the people around them, who die in what looks like sudden crisis but was actually prolonged and concealed.

What reduces male suicide risk

The factors that reduce male suicide risk are precisely the factors that men's work develops: genuine social connection (men with close friends who they can be honest with are at significantly lower risk), purpose and meaning (men who report a sense of what they are for show lower suicidal ideation), and the normalization of emotional disclosure (men who have community in which honest emotional conversation is normal are less likely to be in silent crisis).

If you are concerned about a man who may be suicidal, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides support for people calling on behalf of someone else. Direct, honest conversation — asking directly whether someone is thinking about suicide — does not increase risk and often provides the relief of being seen.

Common Questions

How do I ask someone if they're thinking about suicide?

Directly. 'Are you thinking about suicide?' or 'Are you thinking about harming yourself?' Research consistently shows that asking directly does not increase risk and often provides relief to someone who has been carrying the thought alone. Not asking because you fear planting the idea is a common and potentially dangerous misconception.